Originally Posted: 2006
Edited: April 13th, 2016
There are some for whom the gowns of the Lolita are nothing more than a whim, a costume of sorts. For the Lolita to whom they are not this, but rather an expression of her inner self, great care should be taken not only to one’s appearance but also presentation. It is a simple thing to practice basic manners and implement them in the treatment of others. A Lolita should at all times be ladylike, never giving in to emotional follies or physical complaints.
It may seem but common sense to some, however there are points of etiquette and posture so seldom taught in this day. For one, how should Lolita walk? For one’s walk displays one’s sense of grace, inner serenity and elegance, or lack thereof. Lolita should walk with her back straight, shoulders held slightly back, but not so that the chest is overtly exposed. Her chin shall be carried parallel to the ground, neither gazing up nor towards the ground and her calm vision is focused on a point in the distance, so as she neither makes eye contact with others nor seems in any way to stare at a particular thing. To practice this posture, one may try placing a book upon the crown of the head just where it will balance without tremor. In this manner first try walking about the room and then up and down stairs. One will find it impossible without a straight back and level carriage of the head. The arms and hands should always be occupied, either in carrying a purse or parasol when out-of-doors or when inside, a fan and gloves may suffice. If neither is suitable then they should rest gently by one’s side, neither swinging grotesquely or appearing too stiff. It is very unladylike to cross ones arms or place hands on hips. The steps a Lolita takes should be small and graceful, she is never in a hurry but walks with confidence. The weight should be placed on the ball of the foot before the heel, especially when in heeled shoes and steps should be no more than the length of one’s foot apart, preferably less. When carrying a folded parasol or bag loop the handle over one’s arm and carry it close to the chest. An open parasol should be held in one hand either vertically or balanced over the same shoulder. The grip should be light rather than firm as if one were holding a teacup or weightless object. A small note on descending stairs: it appears more elegant to travel down stairs slightly sideways rather than directly, placing feet at and angle to the stairs. When going up and down stairs, steps should always be taken one at a time.
Sitting with poise, especially in wide skirts, is no small feat. While there are many ways of sitting the most appropriate to everyday use is as follows: Gather one’s skirts behind with one hand and place the other upon the intended seat. Without looking at the seat, swing the body around to sit on it in a graceful, sideways position, about 40 degrees to the seat back. With knees together, cross one’s ankles beneath the seat, folding one’s hand in the lap. With a little practice this will become natural. In situations where there is not room to accommodate this position, sit forward with a straight back and knees and ankles together. A Lolita does not slouch or fidget in her seat.
Having addressed this, we come to the next vital issue: how to talk. This is really much more simple if one is simply mindful of what is considered polite conversation, as we live at a time when even the words “please” and “thank you” are like rare but beautiful flowers.
The greatest thing any Lolita can do to present herself well is to speak softly. A loud, harsh voice is utterly crude and will gain attention only of the wrong sort. It is also to be remembered the silence is as valuable as well chosen words and often equally called for. Lolita takes any opportunity presented to her to say something kind or complimentary about another, but does not go out of her way to flatter.
The expression a Lolita chooses to adopt should be one of closed happiness. That is, she may smile and show her joy at all times but should not do so in a way that may appear vulgar, ie; grinning or smirking, particularly when making eye contact with others. Although one may dress and hold oneself as a Lolita, it is in conversation that the truth is most visible. To all appearances she must be gentle and well-mannered, never given to idle gossip or melodrama. Throughout all moods, one’s mask remains the perfect image of innocent beauty.