Assets

The Act of Chivalry

(image found on fairynobasho on tumblr)
(image found on fairynobasho on tumblr)

(note: Within this post I refer to one’s significant other as male. This is obviously exchangeable with female, or any other pronouns. I chose to use “him”, “he”, etc. simply for the sake of consistency.)

Now, although I am a feminist, I love a chivalrous man. I will gladly open a door for myself, or pull a chair out for myself- and I will, by no means, complain if he fails to be chivalrous. The point I’m trying to get at is this: In these days, most men aren’t chivalrous.

It’s perfectly acceptable to ask your beau to do some of these kind little acts- if you have been dating awhile, that is. Springing this on someone you’ve just met may make him uncomfortable or scare him a little- so time this conversation well. There are some things that are perfectly fine to ask him to do for you- but some are just plain silly.

Some princesses have the opposite problem- they find chivalry degrading and rude. After all, I can open the door myself, can’t I? So why should I let a man do it for me? Girls, please do not be angry at your partner for being chivalrous. You can, of course, ask him not to do certain things, however, be kind about it. Also, look at it this way- his chivalry is likely an act of affection.

Do:

  • Ask him to hold open a door for you.
  • Ask him to stand on the left of the sidewalk- closest to the road.
  • Ask him to have basic table manners.
  • Let him offer you his jacket.
  • Ask him to hold the umbrella if it’s raining- besides being chivalrous, he’s likely taller than you are, and if you hold it, it may hit his head.
  • Be understanding when his manners aren’t perfect.

Don’t:

  • Ask him to run to the other side of the car to open the door for you- he isn’t a chauffeur.
  • Get angry if he commits a simple etiquette faux pas- elbows on the table are not the end of the world.
  • Ask him to put his jacket over a puddle so you don’t have to step in the puddle- life is not a movie, and he likely needs or values his jacket.
  • Force him to do or act any way he doesn’t want to- if it bothers you so much, you always have the choice to leave, as does he.
  • Expect him to have perfect manners all of the time. He likely will “relapse” into boyhood when around his friends. It’s only natural.
  • Hold grudges over his bad manners. He will get better as time goes on, so long as he’s committed.
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